About 3 years ago when I first began to practice CLT, I did not understand the true meaning of self-love. Then, I learned that self-love was prioritizing my own needs, e.g., taking a well-deserved rest. Even while I tried to practise this, I felt I was being self-centered, selfish and not being selfless. How can I even think of doing that?! I thought to myself. So, even when I was very exhausted, I did not take time out to rest, to re-charge my flat battery. By not practising self-love, I almost endangered the lives of my two younger sons and myself. Here was what happened about 3 years ago.
Besides helping my husband with his business, I was running around a lot like the mad hatter of Alice in Wonderland, trying to be a supermom and a super wife! Now on hindsight, I realized that was just an expression of my ego, trying to prove to myself and everyone that I could do it all. Anyway on that particular weekend, we took a coach down to Singapore to visit our eldest son who was studying there. We came back on Sunday night and without taking any time off to rest, I soldiered on the following day. After a heavy lunch, together with our second son, we went to fetch our youngest from his school. It was a hot, stifling afternoon and we were caught in the daily traffic snarl along the NKVE Highway. My eyelids became extremely heavy; I had great difficulty trying to keep myself awake. Without realizing it, I dozed off behind the wheels. The next moment, I was jolted awake when our car hit the back of a medium sized delivery truck. Fortunately, all three of us were safe except for the car.
This incident demonstrates that we cannot over-extend ourselves to the point of exhaustion in the guise of being selfless. Many think that to have self-love means being selfish, and in order to love others, we have to be selfless. But what good would we serve if we collapse in the process of fulfilling our perceived duties or needs of others? Wouldn’t we end up becoming a burden or worry to the people we love, thus negatively affecting them? How is this considered an expression of love to them?
Self-love means to fill ourselves with love, to love ourselves by taking care of ourselves so that we are able to love others more effectively. So in this respect, wouldn’t self-love be synonymous with selflessness? A befitting reminder is the instruction given on board a plane before take-off: “in case of emergency, adults are to put on their safety vest and oxygen masks before attending to loved ones”.
About 3 years ago when I first began to practice CLT, I did not understand the true meaning of self-love. Then, I learned that self-love was prioritizing my own needs, e.g., taking a well-deserved rest. Even while I tried to practise this, I felt I was being self-centered, selfish and not being selfless. How can I even think of doing that?! I thought to myself. So, even when I was very exhausted, I did not take time out to rest, to re-charge my flat battery. By not practising self-love, I almost endangered the lives of my two younger sons and myself. Here was what happened about 3 years ago.
Besides helping my husband with his business, I was running around a lot like the mad hatter of Alice in Wonderland, trying to be a supermom and a super wife! Now on hindsight, I realized that was just an expression of my ego, trying to prove to myself and everyone that I could do it all. Anyway on that particular weekend, we took a coach down to Singapore to visit our eldest son who was studying there. We came back on Sunday night and without taking any time off to rest, I soldiered on the following day. After a heavy lunch, together with our second son, we went to fetch our youngest from his school. It was a hot, stifling afternoon and we were caught in the daily traffic snarl along the NKVE Highway. My eyelids became extremely heavy; I had great difficulty trying to keep myself awake. Without realizing it, I dozed off behind the wheels. The next moment, I was jolted awake when our car hit the back of a medium sized delivery truck. Fortunately, all three of us were safe except for the car.
This incident demonstrates that we cannot over-extend ourselves to the point of exhaustion in the guise of being selfless. Many think that to have self-love means being selfish, and in order to love others, we have to be selfless. But what good would we serve if we collapse in the process of fulfilling our perceived duties or needs of others? Wouldn’t we end up becoming a burden or worry to the people we love, thus negatively affecting them? How is this considered an expression of love to them?
Self-love means to fill ourselves with love, to love ourselves by taking care of ourselves so that we are able to love others more effectively. So in this respect, wouldn’t self-love be synonymous with selflessness? A befitting reminder is the instruction given on board a plane before take-off: “in case of emergency, adults are to put on their safety vest and oxygen masks before attending to loved ones”.